I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
