Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
