If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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