I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
4 words: hood of his car
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize