Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
