I haven't been this sober since birth.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
