I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
