I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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