Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...

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(916): View more from California

I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting

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(931): View more from Tennessee

EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?

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(301): View more from Maryland

we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.

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(708): View more from Illinois

There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.

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(207): View more from Maine

Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill

(860): View more from Connecticut

Wow. He is an expensive lay

(207): View more from Maine

I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment

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