We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize