I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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