forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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