You're so nebulous sometimes
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
