Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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