I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
