White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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