I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
