Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
