Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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