I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
