Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
