I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
