Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
