I must be too annoying 4 u.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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