Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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