I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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