Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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