I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
