TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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