Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
