in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
