i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
even my farts smell like vagina
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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