STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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