how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She's the barista slut.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Randomize
