What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize