Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
