I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
