I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
