So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
