When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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