Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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