my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
