I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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