Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
