Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize