we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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