help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
