Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize