u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
