I am in a vortex of obligation.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
