I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
