I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
