Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
