it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
