I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize