He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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